Today I stumbled across a few posts with women showing off their partners with the caption "happiest woman in the world because of him".
This made me wonder whether we need another person to feel happiest. Can we not make ourselves happiest and does it really take being in a relationship to be happiest.
Okay lets examine this......
So I have personally been in a full on relationship and I am currently single by choice (meaning I won't settle for just any guy) and both of these scenarios have their pluses and minuses but I have come to realise that if you are not happy within yourself and cannot make yourself happy then no one can make you happy because it'll always be short lived and never be enough.
To make someone the thing that makes you happy all the time is a huge responsibility and so unnecessary but we do it because it's the only way we think we can be truly happy.
We were never taught any other ways so how can we blame ourselves right?!
I also know that people have their lives to live, they will always put their true needs before yours and people at their core are selfish. It's just human nature. So no one can make you happy all the time without sacrificing their basic human needs and wants, therefore to look to another person for making you the happiest girl in the world is without it's risks. And that's the point you need to be aware that there will be days when they can't make you happy because they are dealing with their own lives so taking it to heart or turning it into he doesn't want me or love me is usually what happens next. And once again is so unnecessary.
I am not saying it's wrong but I just think surely there has to be more to life and other ways of being the happiest girl in the world by yourself instead of it being as a result of being in a relationship or making it the responsibility of someone else.
If you are in a great relationship then try your best to make yourself as happy as you believe the other person makes you happy.
How amazing would it be to take the pressure off that person for being your source of happiness and just enjoying them and take your relationship to the next level?
Imaging how free and grounded you would feel. That's personal freedom right there :)
If you are single, try not to see the time alone as a bad thing but instead a chance to date yourself, get to know who you are and be your everything so that if and when you decide to share your life with someone you are still the same person able to take care of her needs while sharing experiences with another. Again freedom and freshness.
I am writing this post about this subject because I used to be desolusioned in thinking that if I had that perfect love then I would be happy. If only my King would come and save me like a princess is saved then I would be so happy but I realise through time and pain that even if he turns up and if you are not in the right place internally, i.e loved yourself, knew how to take care of you on all levels then you will never recognise or appreciate him. He will never be enough.
I have also come to realise that I need my purpose more than I need my King.
Too often we think we need another person to feel fulfilled but we actually just need ourselves.
Sarah Martin xoxo